Penultimate Pandemonium
A Story for Week 4 of The Halls of Pandemonium Challenge
This is the fourth story in an ongoing series set within the fictional universe of my Halls of Pandemonium Challenge. It follows the rules of Day 28’s prompt, so it will be dialogue only. This story will also be narrated on Episode 71 of The Saved as Draft Podcast.
It’s not that deep, but if you’d like to catch up on the lore(?) here, find links to the prior parts below:
Bradley: “Okay, we made it to the summer home…I think?”
Warden: “Doesn’t look like any home I’ve ever seen.”
Bradley: “Yeah, I expected, you know, actual rooms or something.”
Warden: “Shouldn’t…you know, describe what you’re seeing? What’s that called again?”
Bradley: “Oh, you mean exposition? Yeah, that would be appropriate here, but there’s just one problem: we have to follow the rules of today’s prompt.”
Warden: “I’m not going to pretend I understood any of that.”
Bradley: “Yeah, it would take too long to explain anyway, and we’ve only got 1,500 words. Basically, we have to do all of this with dialogue. So, maybe tell everyone what you’re seeing?”
Warden: “Isn’t that your job as the writer?”
Bradley: “Humor me. I’m trying to keep the voices varied. This is for the podcast, after all.”
Warden: “Oh yeah, the one that’s called Sa—”
Bradley: “DON’T SAY THE NAME. Not yet.”
Warden: “Right. Well, it looks like we’re on the deck of a ship, in the middle of an ocean, and it’s storming.”
Bradley: “Yeah, I’m guessing Pandemonium is reflecting what the inside of my head looks like this month.”
Warden: “I’m guessing it hasn’t been a good month?”
Bradley: “No. No it has not.”
Warden: “Hey, look! There’s another ship approaching.”
Bradley: “Oh great. What do they want?”
Viscount Valegrave: “Bradley? Is that you?”
Bradley: “Viscount Valegrave! Holy crap, you’re okay! Why uh…why are you dressed like a pirate?”
Viscount: “Oh, well, I figured I would look the part, you know? When in Rome and all that? Do you like the eye patch?”
Bradley: “Yeah, it’s a pretty good look.”
Viscount: “Oh, before I forget, I found our friends. They came to rescue you, but managed to nearly drown instead.”
Bradley: “Where are they now?”
Viscount: “Below deck, follow me!”
Warden: “I’m guessing he’s the lamprey in a top hat you mentioned?”
Bradley: “Yeah, that’s him.”
Warden: “You have very strange characters.”
Bradley: “Yeah, I know. Trust me, it’s going to get weirder.”
Announcer A: “Oh wow, look everyone! Bradley’s here!
Announcer B: “And he’s looking no worse for wear.”
Bradley: “Hey everyone! Damn is it good to see you. Uh…it is the real you, right?”
Finton: “Yes Bradley, it’s actually us. I would know, because I’m for once not trapped in the narrative purgatory you left me in last month.”
Lord Devereaux: “Bradley, we must discuss our next steps. This dialogue-only format is going to become tiresome. The mouth feel is quite chewy, like overcooked steak.”
Bradley: “I agree, but we have to follow the prompt of the day.”
Lord Devereaux: “Yes, yes. I’m aware of how the cosmic rules of writing challenges function. Now that we are all reunited, our next step is to find the Heart of Pandemonium.”
Golum: “Is the heartses of Pandemonium the precious?”
Lord Devereaux: “It is not.”
Arnold: “Is it protein?”
Lord Devereaux: “ I don’t believe so, no.”
Finton: “Perhaps the heart of Pandemonium are the friends we’ve made along the way?”
Warden: “The heart of Pandemonium is a Nexus. One of the Dreamer’s synapses. A place of unimaginable power. It acts as an entry and exit point for the entire Sprawl. Everything flows through it.”
Lord Devereaux: “The mysterious Warden is correct. Nexus points are rare within the Sprawl, and they offer a direct connection to the mind of the Dreamer. We must prevent Pandemonium from infecting the Nexus.”
Bradley: “Makes sense. If Pandemonium hits the Nexus, it’ll have free reign over all the worlds of the Sprawl. So, how do we stop it?”
Finton: “I believe I can answer that question. The solution is the same as it’s always been: stories.”
Arnold: “We should wrap our fists in stories and punch Pandemonium in the face!”
Announcer A: “I like that plan!”
Announcer B: “Yeah, violence is always the answer!”
Viscount: “You know, they may be on to something? Cousin, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
Lord Devereaux: “I am not. We do not share the same mind.”
Viscount: “Right, of course. I’m using human terms again without thinking. What if we shield ourselves from the corrosive creativity near Pandemonium’s Heart by creating armor from stories?”
Lord Devereaux: “Ah yes! That could work.”
Bradley: “Hey, care to loop us in?”
Finton: “Yes, if Bradley’s confused then you know there’s a problem.”
Lord Devereaux: “Right, yes. The Heart of Pandemonium near the Nexus will be surrounded by every possible concept and prompt that could exist across all the timelines in this region of the Sprawl. Getting close without protection would simply unravel you all at the narrative level.”
Bradley: “So, if we shield ourselves with stories, we can get close?”
Viscount: “Yes, I believe so.”
Arnold: “And then, once we’re close enough, we punch Pandemonium in the face?”
Lord Devereaux: “In a manner of speaking, yes.”
Bradley: “What about Zal’Ythra? I haven’t seen her since I got here. I’m bad about plot holes sometimes, but I feel like she needs to show up again.”
Announcer A: “Oh yeah, she’s the queen of disco, right?”
Announcer B: “Not even close.”
Announcer A: “Man, this is all too complicated.”
Golum: “She will be with the precious.”
Smeagol: “Yeah! She’s going to be waiting for us.”
Golum: “Just like stinky little hobbitses.”
Viscount: "The tiny creature is correct. Zal’Ythra will want to protect the Sprawl for her own interests. It stands to reason she would be waiting for us in the Heart of Pandemonium.”
Lord Devereaux: “And she won’t be the only one.”
Bradley: “What do you mean?”
Lord Devereaux: “At the center of all of this will be the creator. The writer who birthed the Sprawl.”
Bradley: “You mean me? I’m going to be there?”
Lord Devereaux: “Yes. The other you.”
Bradley: “Oh…an Imposter, you mean.”
Finton: “Does this mean we get to punch Bradley in the face?!”
Bradley: “Finton…”
Finton: “Right, sorry.”
Bradley: “There’s no way I can beat my imposter. I’m not strong enough.”
Lord Devereaux: “It won’t be easy, my friend, but you will have us all with you.”
Smeagol: “Yeah! And we’ll have all the stories from our friends!”
Bradley: “I…uh…I think I need a minute.”
Announcer A: “Are you okay?”
Bradley: “No…no I’m really not. I don’t think I can do this.”
Warden: “Listen kid, I don’t know you as well as these other folks here, but from what I’ve seen, you’re a lot stronger than you think. And, it sounds like you’ve got a lot of other people who believe in you.”
Finton: “The mysterious Warden is right, Bradley. For all of your flaws as a writer, you’ve cultivated an entire community of people who are willing to write stories to help you save the multiverse. That has to count for something!”
Bradley: “Uh…thanks Finton. I think.”
Finton: “What I’m trying to say is that they believe in you, too.”
Arnold: “Yeah! We believe in you, Bradley!”
Bradley: “I know everyone is here to support me. I just…I don’t think I’m strong enough to face him.”
Lord Devereaux: “It took great strength to make it this far. You’ll make it to the end.”
Golum: “You’ll finds the precious.”
Smeagol: “You can do it!”
Finton: “You’re the only who can, Bradley.”
Bradley: “Heh. No pressure.”
Warden: “Maybe now’s a good time to record that podcast of yours? Saving Drafts, right?”
Bradley: “Saved as Draft, but yes, I think you’re right. Reading everyone’s stories from week 4 will give me a boost.”
Arnold: “Yeah, new stories! All the stories! INFINITE POWER!”
Bradley: “Thanks everyone, really. I appreciate all of you.”
Finton: “Alright, enough of this sentimental stuff! Let’s save the multiverse, shall we?”
THE STORY CONCLUDES NEXT WEEK…
Thanks for Reading! Here’s Your Musical Pairing
Listen to this after reading, like pairing a glass of wine with dinner.
🧅🧅 damn onions