The Uninvited Guest

Flash Fiction February (Day 11)

Image: Juliette F via Unsplash

I didn’t realize it, but I was picking at a splinter on the antique table. Tiny wooden flakes came off as I tried to keep my left leg from bouncing up and down. I was incredibly nervous, and why wouldn’t I be?

I was in the belly of the beast.

I looked up and surveyed the other guests at the table. There were twelve in total, most of them lesser gods. My target was someone bigger. Someone with more cosmic pull.

The Mother of the Cosmos.

Two empty chairs sat at the head of the table. Ornate and shimmering. Like thrones awaiting royalty. One was for the mother, the other for the father. The rest of the things masquerading as humans at the table were the children, the Exiled Ones. And me?

I was the resurrected warrior, made into something more than human so I could hunt them.

I loved my job, but this mission was different from the others. Usually, I came in guns, relics, or blood magic blazing. This time, though, they wanted me to go undercover and skip the small fries. I knew better than to argue with management.

“Who in the abyssal hells picked this venue? It’s so gaudy!” one of the Exiled Ones asked, breaking an otherwise suffocating silence.

He looked like a man in a perfectly fitted suit, with slicked-back hair black as night, but underneath that facade was something entirely different.

Something masquerading as a human being.

He had been eyeing me since I arrived. His name, or at least the closest thing to his name the human tongue could pronounce, was Nyarthlotep.

“It was Minerva, I think,” another Exiled One responded.

Nyarthlotep rolled his eyes. “Of course it was. I’ve been to that stupid nightclub of hers on Earth-563421. The bitch has absolutely no sense of style.”

I shifted in my seat, resting my hands on my thighs. The shape of the void pistols hidden in the waist of my pants was comforting. Of course, they were only there for a worst-case scenario. If Zal’ythra and her husband didn’t show up soon, I wouldn’t have much choice.

I felt the eyes of a few Exiled Ones on me. I hated looking at them. They thought their skin suits were convincing, but all it took was a glance to see their empty eyes. Their gaze was devoid of that spark that humans have. It was impossible not to notice if you were looking.

I looked over to the intricate cake in the center of the table. It was a lemon meringue pie and cake, rolled into one decadent dessert.

For unfathomable horrors, I gotta hand it to them; they’ve got great taste.

“Who made the cake?” I asked.

It was a gamble. I could already tell a few of them were convinced I wasn’t who I said I was, but when your family is composed of nearly infinite cosmic horrors, it’s not hard to convince them that you’re a cousin who was twice removed from existence.

Nyarthlotep spoke up again. “I did. Do you like it? Human food is so bland, but I do love a good dessert!”

He reached out with a slender finger and dragged it across the surface of the cake. White icing rolled up onto his fingernail. He slid it into his mouth, pulling it out slowly while maintaining eye contact. With a wink, he laid his hand on the table.

“Which Nexus did you say you were from again?” he asked.

“Forty-two,” I replied.

He nodded. “I’ve been to that one. That’s the one Minerva is from, isn’t it? You know, I asked her about you.”

I nodded, my hands sliding around the grip of each void pistol at my side.

“Is that so? And what did she say?” I asked.

He narrowed his eyes at me, and I caught a flicker of the forbidden secrets that rattled around like dice in his mind.

“She’s never heard of you,” he said.

I stood up, ripping the void pistols from the holsters on either side. Everyone at the table immediately snapped to attention. The pistols looked like revolvers, with purple canisters where the cylinders should be. Wisps of smoke danced out from the vents on the sides.

“A FUCKING WARDEN?!” a woman to my right shrieked.

“Sorry to crash the party, but I’m not here for any of you. I just want your parents,” I said, training each of my guns on opposite sides of the table.

Nyarthlotep hissed like a snake. “You think those pathetic weapons of yours can harm us?”

The void pistols were new and experimental, but these Exiled Ones didn’t know that.

“I don’t need to kill you; I just need to send you back. These puppies will rip you right out of your skin suits and send you back to the Labyrinth. From there, it’s just a matter of time until the cleanup crew finds you, and then it’s back to the abyss.”

Nyarthlotep clapped slowly as he walked toward the two empty chairs at the head of the table.

“You have an eye for theater, Warden; I’ll give you that. What makes you think we’ll give up mommy and daddy dearest, though? After all, it’s only because of them that we’re here instead of rotting in your prison beyond the stars.”

I kept the barrel of my right gun trained on him as he moved like a serpent between his siblings.

“Just point me in the right direction, and I’ll let you get back to your dessert,” I said.

Nyarthlotep reached the empty chairs and sat down in one, putting his feet up on the table. He sighed.

“Kill him.”

The Exiled One to my right opened their mouth as a black tentacle emerged from within their throat. I dodged to the right and pulled the trigger on one of the void pistols.

An arc of purple lightning struck their human body, and in a flash, their empty disguise fell to the floor in a pile of wrinkled skin and gore.

Just as advertised!

Two more jumped on the table. One of them ripped the skin off their face to reveal a layer of writhing insects beneath. Mandibles tore through the place where their lips used to be as I fired another bolt from the void pistol in my left hand.

They exploded in a cloud of mist, leaving only a wet skin suit in their wake. I fired again, hitting the second one on the table before it could even begin to transform into its true form.

Three down. Nine to go.

I turned and ran toward the dining hall entrance, hearing a symphony of screeching, tearing flesh, and mind-shattering whispers. I reached the door and pushed against it, but it wouldn’t budge. I heard a chain rattle on the opposite side.

Should have fucking known it would be a trap.

I spun around and started firing. The things coming at me defied all description. Every single one of them had a different physical form. Some lurched, others leaped, and still others swam through the air.

Tentacles, thoraxes, ethereal forms, masses of writhing worms, there was no end to the sheer insanity that made up their bodies. Any other human mind would have shattered at the mere sight of them, but I was a Warden.

We’re just (re)built differently.

Soon, the room went quiet, save for the shrill cackling of Nyarthlotep, who was still watching from his throne. He enthusiastically applauded as I approached.

“I am the sword of creation. The shield that guards the realms of humanity,”

Nyarthlotep giggled. “Oh goody, my last rites!”

I flicked the void pistol in my left hand to the side, letting the excess heat out of the chamber.

“I stand upon the Celestial Wall and gaze into the folds of time,” I continued, flicking the chamber back into place.

“Yes, yes!” Nyarthlotep cried, his applause increasing in tempo.

“My battles are endless, my strength absolute. You do not belong here, Exiled One,” I said, raising the pistol.

Nyarthlotep nodded. “YES, YES?”

I placed the barrel of the pistol against Nyarthlotep’s forehead.

“I send you back to the Abyssal Prison, for I am a Warden, and my watch is eternal,” I said, pulling the trigger.

Nyarthlotep’s laughter echoed briefly through the air as his fancy suit joined the flesh and blood he once wore on the ground below.

I spat on what was left of him. “Motherfucker.”

I grabbed a slice of the cake and took a bite as I sat back down in my chair. It was delicious, with a wonderful lemon flavor.

So zesty!

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Thanks for Reading! Here’s Your Musical Pairing

Listen to this track after reading, like pairing a glass of wine with dinner (or in this case, dessert).